What Can Go Wrong With Your Path

1. You believe the Necronomicon is real and the evil Cthulhu is hiding under your kitchen sink.
2. You believe you've been hexed when the bus leaves without you.
3. You search your passport for secret signs of the Illuminati, the Rosicrucians, and the Brotherhood of the Great Pumpkin.
4. You wrap aluminum foil around your head so the aliens can't control your mind via satellite.
5. Whenever you are under stress, you fall into a trance and start raving in a lost language.
6. You keep greeting the postman with "Merry meet and blessed be".
7. You can't sleep at night because the ghost of the tenant before you keeps you awake with his parties and poker games.
8. Instead of getting an antivirus program, you perform a banishing ritual to drive out the negative energies.
9. Your cat is the reincarnation of Jean Paul Sartre and drives you crazy with the most depressing discussions on existentialism. To make matters worse, your canary is Albert Camus, and the two won't stop getting into an argument.
10. You are at a séance, and the medium says "this call will cost you $1.89 a minute".
11. You ask the driving instructor if you can do a class B flying license for a large besom.
12. The only ancestors who will have anything to do with you are Atilla the Hun and Elizabeth Bathory.
13. Ever since you've read the Book of Revelations, bad news only makes you ecstatic.
14. You are gripped by an ominous feeling upon discovering terrifying prophecies encrypted in the numbers of the local telephone directory.
15. After an NDE you carry a sword under your cloak and keep a watch out for other immortals.
16. Your telephone provider offers you a flatrate to Hell.
17. You think Eliphas Levi is the guy who invented your denims.
18. Your family has to chain you up and leave you a bowl of dogfood on a full moon.
19. You believe the spirit of Sleipnir is in your Fiat Panda.
20. You can read Alleister Crowley's handwriting because it's just like yours.
21. You're short with a massive beard, an affinity for red pointy hats, and can only sing "Hi-Ho".
22. At the video counter of a sex shop, you ask for the "Whore of Babylon".
23. On your first journey to the underworld you are stopped by a customs officer who asks for your visa, customs declaration, and how long you plan to stay.
24. You channel a Roman general named Cunillingus.
25. Your succubus is pregnant and suing you for child support.
26. You call on Dionysis and instead Frank Sinatra pitches up singing "New York, New York".
27. You buy a book on anatomy to look for your inner child.
28. You take out the central heating system and light a bonfire in the middle of the livingroom.