Spider Cat

(best sung to the tune of "Spiderman")

Our flat overlooks a large courtyard where the connecting building houses a repair shop for the local transport to Barcelona. Our neighbour there is a wonderful man, very skilled at his trade and always helpful. Next to him, on the other side, is a Chiropractor and his psychologist wife who like to spend weekends at seminars in Switzerland. They have their house decked out with the odd herbal pots, Tibetan prayer flags and a greenpeace banner. I could go on about all the rest of my colourful neighbourhood in this quiet little corner of the village, but that is not the point of this story.

My brother has this cat he rescued as a kitten, abandoned in a tree in the local wildlife reserve. This cat is a total headcase with the daring of a barnstormer. He has a notoriety for opening doors, even so much as turning keys to unlock them. Failing this, he clings onto the handle while using his hind legs to brute force the damn thing open. The bugger is not only cunning but strong as a human as well.

A big canvassed lorry sat parked about a meter alongside our balcony, when this blighter decided to use it as a trampoline to get to the lot below. I was heading out to do my usual chores, when I spot this critter rolling around in the grass, chortling. Of course I end up having to crawl under the wheel frame of a container flatbed to grab him, and after some struggle managed to get him back into the flat.

Realizing how the bugger must have pulled off this stunt, Susan closed the balcony door, also fearing our other three cats might get encouraged by his antics. Later that afternoon, we decided to let them out on the balcony under supervision. Susan was slow getting there before I had to run to the bathroom and of course when nobody was looking he did it again. Again I had to chase the bugger across the lot. Our mechanic neighbour came out, curious about the mayhem. He looked at me rather stunned when I explained just what this cat is capable of. That proved itself later when the bugger escaped again, this time forcing the roof window of my study that I hadn't properly shut. The man rang our doorbell to announce that the bugger was now in his workshop having a right good time playing high speed dodgem in every impossible place to reach. I was dead asleep at the time so Susan had the arduous task of counter-intercepting at the other end of the building. After two failed attempts, the cat ended the chase by letting himself back into the stairwell to our flat. This confounded our neighbour so much, that he saw good reason to move the lorry to the back of the garage, well out of sight of this maniacle feline.