...And so begins a new Chapter

 Got the news this morning that my brother passed away. He had terminal cancer and nursing him 24/7 wore me to a frazzle, landing me in emergency with anaphilactic shock as of the 6th of June. I was in intensive care, bed ridden and in an oxygen bubble until I could breathe properly on my own. I could not speak for all the intubations and on a drip I was allergic to. I was transferred to Freiburg, where I collapsed during therapy in their intensive care. By this time I was able to speak again and explained that I take a particularly violent reaction to sunflower oil, among other things. It was in the drip so  they took me off it, but I had a bitch of a time getting properly fed. I lost 30 kilos in the ordeal, my legs purple and peeling. That's when the head doctor finally put me on antihistamine. They sent me home a couple of days earlier to give Bro my farewell. He was in morphine limbo so all I could do is hold his hand. As of July 20th I'm off to rehab for 3 weeks in some remote clinic in the High Black Forest. When I get back I have to pack up my belongings and find a new place before the end of September. God knows if I will find one. I can only hope. Keep well my friends.

The Medical Idiot Farm

Don't ask me what it is, but the past weeks have been on the escalating decent into hell. Picked up some kind of infection doing a number on my digestion as if it isn't bad enough being allergic to most things the regular folk take for normal. In Germany it's a nightmare of bureaucracy until you get through all the lengths of required testing when a bacteriological blood sample is the only real way to find it. I'm home caring my brother after he's gone through the kind of cancer surgery that would have killed most and up to my eyeballs in his bureaucracy as well, that aside from all the scammers looking for opportunity...but quite frankly, I'm grateful this isn't America of anything to do with it. For that you have my condolences.

Clutching at Straws

 

While some nefarious potheads are raking in the coals of their pipe dreams on the mass media, let's not oversimplify the odds of causality. The mystery of lost utopia may inspire grand illusions, but given the circumstances, largely depends on adaptability, and not necessarily conquest or selective breeding.  Many an advanced culture came and went as randomly as seeds in the wind  Albeit industrial or domestic; there is no one size fits all. Each had its own challenges. that despite all elaborate designs, inevitably ended with that fundamental question of fight or flight. Change is continuity.

When two remote cultures take to erecting pyramids that doesn't make them related. Pyramids are the simplest form of architecture that isn't going to fall over if you increase its size. One culture used it to shelter sacred cenotes, while for the other, served as grand memorials to their dynasties. Some used pictograms to illustrate while others reduced it down to simple symbols or strokes. These were usually nomads and traders that got around with little time to make an oil painting of it, except on some rock face.

 Ancient stone rows don't necessarily have some deeper significance other than simplify the hunting of herds. Conversely, stone circles doesn't make their builders astronomers. They observed the skies to make a calendar of the seasons. In that regard the Pleiades marked the glad year half. 

If you really want to understand the past, imagine a world without your modern conveniences and stop taking too much for granted. 

 

The curiouser, the curiouser…

While many Americans are increasingly appalled at the decadent state of its politics, they seem to forget how long it’s been in the making ever since Manifest Destiny- treating anything that doesn’t conform to their expectations as inferior. Well, after dealing with such attitudes on all levels in NATO, this doesn’t surprise me one bit. It’s pretty much the effect of colonialism, in all its distinctive shades of dominance and exclusion, much like Apartheid in South Africa. These days it likes to raise its ugly head like some kind of gamer LARP for lack of any real knowledge, but I can think of better ways to entertain my muse, than kick their useless xenophobic butts, for whom and to what end?

Vulcan Thought Police

Well great, it's bad enough getting mansplained by MAGAS, but last night I got sideswiped by some opposition who took my reply on the PIE language hypothesis for an attack on immigration. I was referring to monolinguals in English (which is a very recent language) who study another language, even its etymology but lack the immersion. I reiterated that the reference was about aspiring academics, who for instance try to interpret the Norse myths and legends, yet have never been to Iceland. Aside from the impertinence to the author's post, this troll was using an alias. This seems to be an ever growing political schism in NA based social media groups. I can understand why the EU Council is negotiating ways to distance themselves from the likes of X and FB.

Too Much Ado About Atlantis

Plato’s myth actually begins with the account of Solon’s diplomatic visit to Sais and what its priests told him of antiquity. Their account centers on a mysterious sea people raiding the eastern shores of the Mediterranean with seemingly military precision. It was assumed they came from beyond the Pillars of Heracles which was the terra incognito of the time. Inspired by this mystery, Plato embellishes this with the idea of Atlantis, a prestigious Neptunian nether realm of demi-gods that fall in disfavour with their creators.

Romanticists like to believe Atlantis actually existed before the alleged great flood; an esoteric utopia of super humans from which all civilization allegedly spawned. From the Russian perspective, there is Tartaria, and from the American; Ignatius Donnally’s flights of fantasy, trying to assume the Mayans and Egyptians had anything to do with each other. Then there’s Helena Blavatsky’s Secret Doctrine of some genealogically white master race. The list of esoterics that followed this trend is endless to this day, with people like Graham Hancock trying to assume some magical cosmic connection between every megalithic build he can find, oblivious to the undertones of colonizer supremacism that motivates this fantasy. All the symptoms of classical old school imperialism.

The priests’ reference to the primordial great flood is actually a creation myth of humanity’s first appearance, and not necessarily the domain of these sea people. It is a reference to Egyptian records being kept of the known world since antiquity. According to these, flood and famine have been seen to recur in random cycles and in their wake; catastrophe. There is no mention of knowledge or commodities being shared or traded by these sea people. They came out of nowhere in hoards until they were subsequently defeated by the pharaoh’s armies. The End.

Welcome to Dystopia - your final home

Back in the days of patriarchal empire building, so-called “authorities” inclined to believe in some godsent supremacy of certain genealogical orders, albeit the hierarchies of gentry or their military wannabes. One can easily blame it on the enforcement of Christianity, born out of Greco-Roman assumptions of what qualifies as civilized, but that does not imply that a matriarchy or any other ideology would have fared better; rather, like most unbridled impulses, has more to do with the insatiable desire for utmost sexual gratification. That’s just the way it is with simian hierarchies, only we have advanced it way beyond anything natural selection would allow. It’s all about being feared, loved and worshiped in the strangest ways, hoarding wealth, attention and above all- authority. To be lord and master, where all else should have no other purpose, nor any will to live except for the one and only.

Science says the Y chromosome is slowly disappearing. Then there’s people like Musk trying to breed himself a workforce to do his bidding, to colonize a dying world that didn’t make it far as a biome, being too close to a major Kirkwood gap. For all the cataclysms, it lacks the fluid dynamics for terraforming to even be sustainable. That’s aside the fact that encapsulated ecosystems also tend to fail without a dynamic microbiology.

Then there’s the new agers who want to believe in some Atlantean utopia of supreme beings, if not surreptitiously bred by whatever aliens. Some even claim to receive cosmic messages from stars only just formed from the incongruous masses of cosmic gases and dust. By now, enough has been discovered around our planet to tangibly trace each and every track record of human culture back to its simian origins. Say nothing that the ancient aliens tripe has no idea just how vast a light year is, let alone the temporality effects of going light speed. Yet we still have these delusionals clinging onto old school imperial thought like it’s a new drug vis-a-vis religion. If there’s any truth to the stories about the “Grays”, I have my suspicions that they’re the cloned throwbacks from a likely future of human extinction.

Get a real life, get therapy.

Political Agendas

Having dealt with various groups from admin level down to ordinary member, you get to meet all kinds. In real life profession I had the opportunity to interact with people of various nationalities from all levels of society, in and out of their countries. Although the internet provides a degree of anonymity, it isn’t that hard to suss out the deceitful by their limited choice of words. Interestingly, in many groups, allegedly seeking a global audience, tend to forget that their ideals are not necessarily the way of the world. This easily degenerates into an echo chamber of xenophobic acolytes, gradually fobbing off anything not ad populum in their books. In two UK groups, I became targeted by what turned out to be the divided front between two politically motivated attempts for a lobby. The first one was by the state religion trying to dictate all seculars into one charge. The second one was a heathen group trying oppose that by siding with dubious nationalists (say nothing of the notorious Nigel Farage). It was plain to see that this would not end well so I got the hell away from that lot. They couldn’t even get it through their heads, that despite my father’s British passport, I had sod-all to do with any of it. I’m an EU citizen by rights of legitimate choice, regardless whether you like it or not.


Then I was invited to a site on Ning for a little comic relief, until it turned into a right circus of new age wannabe gurus, and hell knows what else. Then along came some BDSM whack job with a huge repertoire of outlandish esoterica, and they all flew off like moths to the flame. When the Chinese took over we tried our luck on various other platforms including FB and Reddit, but it seems the hoards are more into rebellious fashion statements than anything ethnically traditional. Still, I’m going to keep that subterfuge going, back to php boards for those of us who are fed up with all the snake oil trying to depreciate science. Those of us who were always bog standard naturalists, come what may.


I still belong to a number of special interest groups, but that list is steadily shrinking with the recent political turn of events. I see that demon of xenophobia again, taking a stranglehold on free independent will. It’s particularly bad when Americans come onto me like being German is congenitally national socialist, when the whole time they’re trying to enforce their patriotism like it’s the new world order. Don’t you see, that’s exactly how it all started. I digress, ask yourselves who it was that backed that psychopath when Hindenburg, in all his senility, admitted defeat? Who was it that got the biggest share of Nazi scientists, and where did all the rest go, after the Nuremberg trials? What goes around, comes around.

Xenophobia in the Virtual World

Social media is steadily going to hell as usual. Public interest groups easily degenerate into xenophobic echo chambers of peer worshipping acolytes, with nothing exceptional to say for themselves, Going for easy targets on the premise of justifiable cause, rather than deal with their own error of judgement. With the advent of AI, virtual reality has become such a cop-out from personal responsibility, they can't even relate to anything outside of its terms. Add the politics of exclusion and misogyny, and they're not even aware of their own complicity it. Many keep saying they wish FB was like it used to be 10 years ago, but this shit was already in the making back then. Been there, done that, set fire to the t-shirt, now bugger off.

Narrenfreiheit

The time to blog again is upon me. Most English speaking social media is becoming ever more a shark tank of blame-shifting punishing the victims, mansplaining and gaslighting, if not outright brain-dead trolling and sock puppetry. Try what you may but I don’t take prisoners and you can forget emotional blackmail. I’m not into popularity contests, so keep your projecting to yourself. I’m not Christian or god-fearing in any form so keep your moral double-standards and fashion statements to yourself. I have a congenital mistrust for politics, let alone ideology of any kind. If anything, I draw my principles from the laws of nature and Sun Tzu, so save the polemic of kakistocracy. I spent the last 70 years growing up in the gray zone between east and west and it wasn’t easy. I’ve seen it all coming, so nothing really surprises me. Patience is only a virtue to me in knowing the time and place for opportunity. You have been warned.

Unnatural Selection

Somewhere beyond the Oort Cloud I’m sure there’s a beacon. It doesn’t matter who put it there. What’s important is the warning. There are some who would like to believe in alien contact, assuming that space travel is a sign of higher intelligence, but do they understand how vast a light year is, let alone the expense of one planet’s viability just to make it an other’s problem?

Oh how we’ve distanced ourselves from the viable in our little shelters of denial. Seldom taking a good long look at all what’s really been keeping us alive, and not the currency we’ve tried to replace it with, assuming that will really sustain us, when all the wells and fields have been poisoned. For generations we’ve been inbreeding, assuming purity of stock and nation. Not just ourselves, but everything we’ve tried to domesticate. Nature survives not by numbers alone, but a random process of diversity and mutation, as it adapts to every changing environment and circumstance. That’s how natural selection works, but instead we wallow in the security of our numbers like gnus running in circles while the predators devour our mothers and children. There’s an old French saying: L’homme propose, la famme dispose. Now having done away with that to justify misogyny and rape so children can serve their disposal as cannon fodder, tell me it doesn’t have all the trappings of congenital mass suicide. It’s a form of psychosis, rather like what happens to rabbit populations when they exceed their viable limits.

Exercise in Futility

It beats me what flat earth has anything to do with astronomy. It's just plain bad Earth science. Planets, stars or anything else in the sky are just fixtures in their books. That doesn't even qualify as astronomical. Now having said that, I fail to see any reasonable point for pros or cons polemic on the matter. While many in the English speaking world proclaim the democratic right of freedom of speech, they fail to consider the democratic right of freedom of choice. In essence, it boils down to the rights of the individual and that 18 inch intimate zone called privacy. I do not condemn those who want to live in their quasi-religious pathos, but trying to dictate it on others, or vice versa is where the real problem lies. This is why our constitution sees proselytizing as violating the rights of the individual/a.k.a. the freedom of choice. It should be plain to see by now that neither is negotiable if you really get down to it, so leave them to their own doing and worry more about your own shit. Nature is essentially opportunistic. Give it too much attention and it will exploit that opportunity. Rather, it should be understood that good fences make good neighbours. Stand your ground and safeguard your boundaries. This is why I much prefer strategy when comes to understanding life and survival in the real world. I was never one to seek security in numbers either, but prefer to explore the liminal with at least a few creative people who know the difference between reality and fiction. Not the dominance posterings of wannabe "smarter than thou" trolls.

Return of the Evil Empire

For years now I've been warning people of this demon called "supremacism" in its many shades of deception and nihilism. My mother's family were once very civil and respected citizens of Selesia. Their views were moderate and well educated, but didn't stand chance under the fool moves of an aging monarchy. My mother's father was a medical doctor who got conscripted in WWI to look after prisoners in Sarajevo. He had scarcely got out of there when the economy started failing, having lost much of its work force to the casualties of that futile war. To make matters worse, destitution turned to false hopes in the promises made by socialist movements. After knowing what happened in Russia, he was not inclined to trust either, albeit senile autocracy or national socialist nihilism.  His brothers and sisters had a good milling business going until the Nazis demanded a list of their Jewish employees. All records were promptly burnt and they committed suicide to insure not a word would fall into the wrong hands. He also learned that his wife divorced him and left my mother in a Catholic orphanage, where she was being brutally abused. He took her out of there and moved to Breslau. There they enjoyed the city life until the Gestapo showed up and arrested him for shaking his fist at their entourage and saying "Hitler verrecke!". He was thrown into a labour camp in Lower Saxony, while my mother was conscripted into the Luftwaffe, and that at the age of 14. Meanwhile her sister became an NS nurse, and her brother landed in the infantry where he lost a lung in battle. When my grandfather was finally released by the British Army and brought to Hameln,they put him into the position of employment director there. My mother had escaped to the American lines, made the last train out of Dresden before the city was bombed flat and the Russians moved in. She took up a job of telephone operator in Frankfurt for five years before her brother finally found her and told her, her father was alive and well in Hameln. She moved to Hameln and got a job as secretary of the British CO on the base there. That was where she met my father, but all the Nazis in hiding didn't like that and tried to kill her. That's when my grandfather disowned her brother and sister, when they tried to raid her apartment, assuming she was dead. Surprisingly she survived the severe head injury, so my father promptly married her and took her to his family in Fort Erie, Canada where I was born six months later. Unfortunately I've never known her as sound of mind since. For years I've had to endure being called a Nazi, just because of my German background. It only goes to show how stupid and superficial some people can be, as if such atrocity is congenital, say nothing of being racist themselves...and with all the Nazi scientists the allies divided among themselves, in reality the curse continued in secret behind closed doors. Say nothing of Josef Mengele being on the Canada Research Council payroll.
With elements of family still trapped in the grey zone between east and west, we were constantly under surveillance, until we moved to Westphalia in 1965. I fared better with the locals because of their similar experiences and war damaged parents. We were the rebels of the time, growing up in a schism where the enemies of our enemies were not necessarily our friends. "Why are you hanging out with the Germans? and who is that old guy we see you with?" the Canadian military community would say. Maybe it's because I'm a fucking German and that old guy happens to be my grandfather you idiot. Just because some psychopath from Austria-Hungary resurrected all the wannabe despots of a new world order doesn't mean everything that's German is Nazi. Opa called them "Lumpenproletariat" because they were all sociopathic criminals, always blaming the victim instead of their own overweening arrogance. It took me years to get out of that schism until the wall finally came down. Over the years I had inched my way into the higher echelons to finally make my escape from all that regime mentality and finally succeeded. So I'm not about to be fooled by any nihistic perverts who think they're the godsent chosen.

Was der Bauer nicht kennt frisst er nicht.

 ...That expression well fits what these MAGAs try to do with anything that doesn't fit their twisted regimen. No guys, freedom of speech is not an entitlement to harass anything that doesn't fit your ideals, let alone violate that 18 inch intimate zone called personal choice. Even by that alone you will never understand why Europe prefers to differ. So, stop trying to put me on the spot with your misconceptions, because you obviously don't want to hear anything that doesn't fit it. Rather, intent on provocating recourse so you can blame the victim. I joined that group to talk about science as it says on the label, not stand trial for issues that have sod all to do with any of it. Hence I am no longer inclined to tolerate it, rather, go elsewhere where I am not constantly subjected to it.

What goes around comes around

Met with friends again at the local café. Much to my dismay was a copy of the boulevard rag “Bild am Sonntag” on the table before me. Blazoned across the front page was that cursed Alice Weidel, AfD party candidate for Chancellor in the upcoming election. While I can name a few, she has to be one of the dumbest in all of Germany. Needless to say, I was not amused. Clearly Musk has already started promoting these assholes, both notorious Holocaust deniers...and what did they say? Hitler was a communist, not a Nazi? That makes about as much sense as wanting to bring back the Weimar Republic, you know, the time you needed a wheelbarrow full of money just to buy a lousy loaf of bread. I remember way back when my Facebook feed was plastered with their nasty racist mugs. At least back then I could get them off my case by reporting them as a hate group, but these days?

That shit all started in 2015 when Nigel Farage weaseled his way into the “Make Britain Great Again” crowd trying to be my friends. Of course when I blocked them all, it apparently didn’t stop there. Now that the Borg has given up fact checking thanks to the orange curse and his mogul entourage, it’s gonna be another recurring nightmare of proselytizing, worse than the Jehovas. With a lot of the feedback I’ve been getting from the American side, it’s plain to see just how complacent they’ve become between wanton positivity NLP and abject patriotism muddying the waters. I’m just the ugly German in their books thanks to some megalomanic Austrian psychopath before my time. This definitely not going to end well.

Turn on, tune in and get therapy

Graham Hancock is just a journalist with all the tricks of the trade, who despite chances with several top press agencies, degenerated from social critic to propaganda requisite and tabloid style confabulator. Of course he plays that from the passive-aggressive; something we refer to as a leg-pisser. Like that annoying dog that sneaks up when you’re not looking. 

Was it the years of drug and pharmaceutical abuse or the DMT? One learns in nursing that denial carries a predisposition for substance abuse; in this case wanton dissociation. Out-of-Body Experience, voices in the head or a general sense of alter-reality, are usually the desired results. How he comes across like some time-warped remake of Timothy Leary, says it all in the typical undertones of the 60s counter-culture. Being a Baby Boomer myself, I’ve seen too many fall down that rabbit hole, like it’s the only inspiring thing that ever happened in their otherwise mundane lives. While I agree what followed also left a lot to be desired, I had quite enough of my own bizarre challenges to contend with. They simply didn’t relate, nor did I care to under the circumstances.

Pseudoscience and the Raiders of the Lost Brainspark

 Its incredible the amount of idiocy besmearing the recesses of true scientific journey, It's been escalating since the publishers of quasi-esoteric woo; like Sitchen, Churchward, Castaneda, Velikovsky and of course Erik von Däniken. Back then the elite fossils of royal society were still clinging on to their academic titles with very little scope, despite the advances of the space program. This in turn, dissatisfied our youthful idealisms, so rebellion was definitely afoot, taking us to the fringe of god-knows-what, making new ageism a very marketable fashion statement. Unfortunately that us-and-them paradox never ended, many of our generation becoming just as fossilized in their polemic. The anti-establishment turning establishment, romaticizing the old "what if" enigma even further. 

All hail the myths of lost utopia, while religious fanatics cling stubbornly to their biblical "firmament". Of course nowadays with social media, all these yahoos are trolling for a captive audience everywhere. The internet has become so inundated, not even the best search engine can seem to get past it, no matter what your use of semantics. The bots and algorithms are just as brain dead as the rest. AI is no match for natural stupidity, but then it's not actually intelligent either. Just another useless set of algorithms.

The Doomed Messiah

 Way too many people these days expect their platitudes to have some kind of precedence over the laws of physics. While being the odd ball that I am does seem to have a strange attraction, I’m not inclined to see it as some kind of cosmic deliberation. Lately one long-time acquaintance seems to be sinking ever deeper into that void of moral dilemma. We were never that close to really involve myself, just an occasional social thing. My circumstances were always far too complicated to afford much of that, let alone expect others to. Mind you for that, many would come to me for advice whenever the going got tough. All fine and well, but don’t expect me to feel obligated to give it. Some people just don’t understand my ambivalence towards ideology. I don’t believe in a perfect world. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw, no matter what you wish.

Much of my teenage years were spent in the Ruhr District where there was never a shortage of places to go and things to do. Hence people there appreciate diversity and are very open spoken. This is not the case in Ortenau, and notoriously ridiculed for it. I found myself forever being dragged into Discos, clubs and events where people seek comfort in their cliques, staring at others like lost sheeple, but heaven forbid if you try to approach them. They take immediate offense. I asked this guy what the hell kind of social life is that? He tells me that I should try to fit in. That’s when I told the lot to bugger off; it would take a full frontal lobotomy to even tolerate such faceless bullshit. I can think of better ways to waste my time, in more colourful locations, with those who at least know what a sense of adventure is.

From there on in I thought I had my peace, only rarely crossing paths with that mundane lot, but this has been marked by intrusive Sunday visits whenever shit happens and his public image takes a nose dive. It’s always the proverbial “why me” as if all that pandering deserves some kind of divine entitlement. That already went pear-shaped looking for damsels in distress on foreign dating sites. He thinks he’s so well meaning in his quest, that he suggests I should do the same (as if I really need it). Obviously he doesn’t know what a “romance scammer” is no matter how I explain it.


So after a brief ordeal with a Thai woman, he lands one in the Dominican Republic, oblivious to her multiple identities. Don’t ask me what love is when neither really understands the language. No surprise she was refused a German visa, despite their marriage on one of his visits. “Oh no, she’s just a hair stylist at the local beauty salon, nothing criminal”, he tells me. Rather than investigating this, he keeps spouting that perpetual mantra about government conspiracy and corruption- like they made this up to keep us all back on the farm. *sigh* I rebuked- “Look man, just because I went through a lot of shit in the cold war zone doesn’t mean it never ended. Times have changed and I’m out of that game. It took me years to get a real life so I’m not about to give it up for just another colonial backwater. Save your threats of pulling the pin, because I just can’t hear it anymore”. Needless to say, this really angered him and he comes on with that “fit-in” nonsense again. It’s like all these years I was just a projection of his own inner Schweinehund. As if we should have nothing better to do than follow his so-called better judgment.


Well it’s over pal, no matter how you want that laptop fixed to sneak in through the back door. Nor is lamenting Bro on his sex change gonna win you that pity party. Go hang yourself on a cross elsewhere.

Reconstructed Heathenry

I can understand why the Icelandic Ásatrúarfélagið wants naught to do with the above mentioned. Call me a bog-standard heathen as I was never Christened nor baptized. That whole genre you’re trying to get at, is like waiting for a ship at a bus station. German heritage as I learned it, is largely an oral tradition with much of the original meaning preserved in the language itself. Such roots seem a complete mystery to Anglophones who rely on spurious sources of loosely interpreted translations, looking for regimes in what was and still is a diaspora, each location with its own nuances as one would naturally expect. European ethno-culture encompasses some 230 languages, aside from the various dialects thereof. My Prussian grandfather saw need to teach me these things, for fear of it becoming distorted by the Nazis. Indeed they were hell bent on making the “Allfather” the universal alternate to Yahweh, much to the demise of the Jewish people. Although Christianity was just as ruthless in its pursuits, the common folk did not have the privilege of literacy; and so the oral memory and its customs, still lives on.


In the beginning it was all elementals, spirits and cunningfolk; often tricksters traveling in the guise of the poor and elderly- helping the needy and making complete fools of the greedy. They were all to be respected, with offerings of whatever one prospered from their providence. One did not simply fell trees or till the soil without consulting the wights. This was the beginning of agrarian times in Europe some 7 thousand years ago. The moon was the bearer of the seed- the months according to its cycles, were 13. The setting of the Pleiades marked the start of the growing season, and when they rise in Samuin we honour the ancestors and those who have passed. The long night of the wild hunt was understood as the marriage of the Sun with the Earth Mother in her underworld domain to fertilize and rejuvenate growth. A time of culling and cleansing.


I could go on and on, but the bottom line is, you lot need to get out of that pedantic Anglo-latinzed mind set if you really want to understand these things.

Give it up

Bro finished his cancer treatments a couple of weeks ago, after they removed a huge tumor that had grown from between the hemispheres. We're not sure how long he had this thing. He was always contrarian if not trapped in some kind schism, so it's hard to say whether it was the cause or not. Just the same, the suspicions of ADHD and the narcissistic tendencies. These things seem to have been going on since day one. Then there's these personal attacks he launches whenever his plans fail, as if the rest of us should feel guilty for not making some ultimate sacrifice on his delusional behalf.   Forever trying to bullbate me into his pseudological entrapment of pros and cons, even trying to humiliate me on social media.

As much as he hated his parents (mind you, they were no better) he was their golden boy and I was that insubordinate little brat of a girl, allegedly only good as a galley slave for their failure as parents. Having my own formative years to contend with, I wanted no part of that blame game, as much as he tried to turn it on me- standing there gloating while they tried to beat it into me. Then after assembling a pity party with his claims that he was the abused one, wonders why they're playing the same game with him. Then there's the sex change like some wannabe feminist on steroids. I could go on and on about how deep in that twisted mind of his that I should have no other purpose in life than his. Well, with that kind of learning curve, I'm only too glad he wants to bugger off to the other side of the planet. In fact, if I had the money, he'd certainly be on the next plane far the fuck away from me.