Pseudologic Phantoms of the Past

Back in my youth there was little in the way of what I would really define as pagan literature. Just a lot of spin offs of Rosicrucianism and Dion Fortune style esoterica, conveniently misconstrued from a medley of quasi-Levantine tradition. My mother had an affinity for that stuff, but reading through it all, it became clear that the market thrived wholly on selling enigma like it was some kind of new drug. Just a carrot on a stick to work up an exotic sense of mystical euphoria to the point of wishful thinking. No surprise the scientific community opposed it all vehemently at the time. This in turn created a futile paradox between stoic non-believers and the religiously superstitious. I was never baptized nor raised on a religious pathos, so all that rhetoric made no sense to me. Conversely, there was never any doubt in the family that the line between consciousness and causality is tenuous. My psychic abilities were seriously out of control and all those conspicuous episodes of precognition had even the hardliners spooked. It would never occur to them that I simply have a broader sense of causality than most. I can recognize patterns in randomness that define specific outcomes. Unfortunately it took another two decades for the scientific community to come to that realization. Just the same, the all too Euclidean concepts of Wicca and the likes wasn’t the answer either. A friend of mine was high priest of an Alexandrian coven in the early 1970s. He tried to interest me in their practices, to work as a channeler. By that time word had got around about my psychic acumen although I would have much preferred anonymity. Things were just getting too dangerous, as it also caught the attention of some rather dark agency of mind control. Needless to say, I left the country and thus disappeared from that scene for a couple of years. It’s just as well because German folklore has quite a different attitude to the so-called paranormal, and nowhere as freaked out over it. In fact even Carl Jung covered it extensively in his recently published “Red Book”. This is more the stuff I was raised on and the odd hand-me-downs from a Welsh gran, just a bog-standard animist throughout the whole convoluted journey. Call it witchcraft if you like. I’d rather call it the butterfly effect.

Schisms

I’ve been watching this downwards spiral since 60 years now and it still confounds me. The endless laments of a crusading persecution complex; keeping a tally of all that did one wrong, but seldom accounting for their own undoing in the whole damned equation. Don’t ask me why he keeps obsessing in this; maybe for want of a mother he never had, or some bird with a broken wing for the love he never had, as if a sex change is really going to make it all better. That delusional quest for the promise land in some exotic location. Some people just have that need to run away from themselves.

As it is “justifiable cause” can be very subjective in the ideal world of too many double standards. Having always been exempt from any norms these try to dictate, I’ve seen more benefit in avoiding moral judgments, rather, calculating my moves to leave my opponents chasing spooks. I can’t be arsed by brooding over just how screwed up humanity is. As far as I’m concerned there’s no such a thing as a perfect world anyway and it’s not like I’m looking for retributions for a life I never had and couldn’t possibly have under the overwhelming circumstances. At this stage of the game I’m just glad to be alive, so save all that fanfaring sacrificial lamb idolatry for those seeking meaning among the “god-sent” millions that came before them.