Pseudologia fantastica

There's a lot to be said about semantics. When someone says “Karma is going to get you”, I could read the implications any number of ways. Aside from the obvious undertones of self-righteous condemnation, what springs to mind is John Lennon, but alas, I was never much of a fan, nor impressed by his love-in in Amsterdam, especially after learning few things from insiders. It didn't take long before that whole scene struck me as an utter sham. The message would have been clearer if the benefits had gone to the survivors, instead of capitalizing on them just to make a fashion statement of himself...but then that's only typical of the double standards one is expected to live by for so-called social acceptability.

The irony is, he didn't even get the bit about karma right, and henceforth this inane western stigma that it should have something to do with retribution. I would have thought Maharishi Yogi taught them better than that, but then he wasn't exactly some half-starved fakir from the streets of Bombay either. Retribution is something better left to the Rudra, as Hinduism is not all love and light as some would like to believe, but sides with the trickster. Anyone who doesn't know this is likewise a sham, putting on the holier-than-thou, when really they are no less naïve sheeple, aspiring to be shepherd. Ah yes, how I remember that old turn-on and tune-in rhetoric, always telling me to drop out of things I wasn't even a part of, just a passing ship in the night. I didn't see the worth of even playing along with that futile paradox. The minions of the anti-establishment, just as mindless as the establishment. I felt no need to belong either way. I was considered an outcast, when actually I chose to be an outsider, but it makes no difference what you say to that old majority rule of “us versus them”. Third non-party non-partisanship is just too unfathomable to their brainwashed ideals of collective utopia, like who died and made them the god of destiny? Yes, I see you skulking around here on my activity feed. Have you nothing better to do with your life?

The History of Christianity as seen by a non-partisan

The Qumran caves were always a subterfuge for those trying to protect their heritage from the exploits of Greco-Roman occupation. So far 11 caves have been discovered to contain the scriptural Zeitgeist of this folk sealed up in various clay jars. Scrolls have also been recovered from the walls of their last stronghold in Masada, completing a history of at least three thousand years.

As far as Judaism is concerned, the Torah is essentially the five books of Moses. These histories revolve around the Babylonian exile and the struggle of the Israelites to be reunited as a nation of their own cultural heritage and law. However, this is also where fundamentalism descends into Zionism, when according to the original legend, Adam was not created of the earth from one place, but of the earth in general. Nonetheless, these early legends have been accounted for in the Dead Sea Scrolls with relative consistency until Alexander's conquest in 332 BCE. Texts following this period are predominantly written in ancient Greek with the obvious Ptolemaic and Seleucid influences, thus regarded as sectarian. This also includes those Aramaic texts mentioned by the Flavian elected high priest Josephus. They mark a period of civil unrest against a corrupt priesthood under Roman rule until the end of the Bar Kokhba uprisings in 136 CE. Typically, he blames much of Judea's misery on petty fanatics out to undermine the aristocracy, hence sees the Roman occupation as due retribution for having lost sight of the “prophecy”. He too would have liked to be seen as a messianic prophet of a new biblical age, but as an opportunist of the Roman regime, he was heeded as anything but. Rather, it was Greco-Roman scholars that latched onto his observations of what came to be regarded as a Christian movement. The problem of its veracity is that none of his original works can be found, and despite being quoted by various 3rd century scholars, copies date no earlier than the 11th century. On the other hand, what came to be interpreted as the New Testament were secular aspirations among so many others of the period and not necessarily representative of Essene practices. The Essenes were a sect that kept quite to themselves, far removed from public, let alone political involvements with other factions. Above all, the original prophecy defines the Messiah as an ordinary human born of Jewish patrilineage, and is traditionally ordained (anointed) as a leader who:

1. Builds the third temple(Ezekiel 37:26-28)

2. Gathers all the Jews back to the land of Israel (Isaiah 43:5-6)

3. Brings universal peace “Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall man learn war anymore." (Isaiah 2:4)

4. Brings universal knowledge of the God of Israel, which will unite humanity as one. As it says: "God will be King over all the world—on that day, God will be One and His Name will be One" (Zechariah 14:9).

What is meant by a false prophet is any attempt to change the original prophecy and its historical accounts, hence Judaism rejects the sectarian New Testament as impertinent to their cause.

The Old Testament says nothing of miracle working or rising from the dead being a messianic prerequisite. Simply because Moses performed miracles, did not necessarily make him a Messiah. Leading the Israelites out of Egyptian captivity was a miserable task fraught with dissent at every turn. Their generations had become too accustomed to the Egyptian way of life, expecting much the same wizardry from Moses, as demonstrated by its priests and god-kings. However, raised as the prodigal son of the Pharaoh, he knew all the parlor tricks. Even the Ark of Covenant bears an uncanny resemblance to Egyptian altar designs. Just the same, it is only typical that his following would resort to idolizing a golden calf to appeal their limited food supply. The blood bath that ensued to lay down the law, doesn't seem to stop until Moses dies upon finally seeing the “promised land” and that after 40 years of this drudgery.

Judaic beliefs are otherwise deeply rooted in the idea that divine intervention in the mortal world is more one of visionary experience than actual physical interaction, however this does not regard the physical as something rife with debauchery. Rather, like in Buddhism, ritual fasting and abstinence serves the purpose of achieving visionary focus. This is also known to involve mandala like formulas and geomantic layouts. Judaism rejects the idea of virgin birth because they see the divine as incorporeal, integral, eternal, above time and beyond space. To say god assumes human form is a diminution of divinity. Even the name Yahweh is unspeakable in that regard. Thus the Christian trinity of father, son and holy ghost can also only seem idolatry, say nothing of the countless saints or missionaries to deliver one's prayers. Rather, such ideas of gods breeding with mortals to make them their messengers are clearly Greco-Roman. This is what is really meant by the taboo “you shall have no gods before me” whereas conversely, Jesus is quoted as saying "No man cometh unto the Father but by me." In essence, Christianity seems so great a departure from its Hebraic roots that skeptics suspect its sources originated with the Mithraic mysteries; a Roman assimilation fashioned on the premise of ancient Persia being the root of all higher civilization. In fact, this ideology still doggedly persists in most western academic circles, despite all obvious fallacies raised by scientific evidence.

Now having said this, doesn't mean I side with either. Nor does having been raised non-denominational by atheistic parents compel me to religion bashing, let alone clinical views of human spirituality. To me it's more an observation of how spirituality based on ideals rather than real life experience is just a carrot on a stick. It has no regard for the individual's own sense of direction. Thus I find it wiser to trust my own instincts, than be misled by somebody else's promises of utopia.

I see much the same fallacy in Rosicrucianism and its spin offs such as the OGD, Thelema, and Wicca: much of their “magical ritual” a rip off of John Dee's Enochian styled Kabbalism and a whole hodge-podge of other assimilated Middle Eastern mysticisms to the tune of Mithras...and all that to justify the mysterious existence of some ancient secret witchcraft tradition? Is it not enough to simply be born with certain psychic talents? Does it have to have a profound connection to some all seeing/all knowing born and bred over generations by some supernatural master race in human disguise? It only makes me wonder what sort of megalomania motivates such outlandish compensations, or maybe they're really just sexually frustrated.

http://www.simpletoremember.com/articles/a/jewsandjesus/
http://www.deadseascrolls.org.il/learn-about-the-scrolls/introduction

I am not my brother's keeper

As the story goes, as now he's taken that final step over the edge, shown his true colours, but then I expected as much. Aside from having no real friends of his own, I have seen how he so obsessively turns a partnership into a prison of futile paradoxes that can only bring out the worst in anyone. I'm not really sure whether it's OCD, ADHD or just plain narcissism that compels something so pathological. As far as I'm concerned, I am sick to death of it and would rather be far fucking away, than have to cover the damages of his shear lack of responsible judgement. Try to confront him with this and his response is "you could have left home back in the 80's you had such a good income". How conveniently he forgets the mess his first marriage got us into and how much we had to pay for that fiasco. I remember only too well those fraudulent dialogues between him and his first wife, loud enough to jar me from my sleep. What he tried to make me out as to her was utterly gobsmacking, as if I was the one holding him hostage and trying to manipulate his life. I was too busy trying to dodge the ploys and entrapments of some MK-Ultra spooks who seriously had it in for us civilian employees. So what does this idiot do? He falls in love with the very servicewoman they send to harass me and drags her right into our home. Then he tells me I don't know what love is. Like WTF?! Needless to say, the months that followed she made sure were absolute hell, scheming ever new ways to pit us against each other. It came to a head when she slashed up my brother's artwork and told him I did it. Of course he believed her. My mother got fed up and moved into a flat in town. Then my father got hit by a motorcycle, as he crossed the street to pick up my brother from work. While he was in hospital, those two remorselessly trashed the place. Fortunately, one of my father's friends had come home with me to bear witness to this scenario. No sooner my father got home, he kicked them out on their asses. My mother moved back in and peace prevailed for a while. When the time came for his wife to return to Canada, he suddenly wasn't on the boarding list and his computer files had been mysteriously deleted. So guess who had to sort out that mess at the command level? I was only too glad when the community social officer escorted him onto that plane two weeks later, say nothing of the shit that followed, landing him in a Halifax hospital with some mystery disease. I just sighed my relief when she got out of the service and they settled with her family in Hamstead. At least once again peace prevailed in my life, or so I had hoped.

About a year later, it was one of those ominously perfect days when suddenly the phone rang. Somehow we knew it meant trouble. Sure enough it was him phoning from the train station in Offenburg. By all accounts he came pretty close to being lynched by her family, though I'm sure there's more to it than he would ever admit. At least one good thing, he had consulted with a psychologist, who also had her blood tested for drugs. The drug identified was one only authorized to the CA research council so the Psyche wasn't apt to make a testimony for fear of losing his license but he did expediate a legal separation for my brother on the grounds of her schizophrenia. In the meantime I had done away with the MK-Ultra spooks by having the Militärische Aussendienst notified. After two weeks investigation, suddenly about 50 people got a 48 hour deportation notice, no questions asked. I don't even think it ever occurred to these spooks that they were violating the Geneva Convention regardless whose citizens we happened to be.  The ten years to follow went far more peaceably with just the usual petty bureaucratic rivalries until the gov't shut down CFE once and for all. My brother continued to have his woman issues, like those two twats who got robbed in Spain, and then came his marriage to Susan on the whim it was going to secure his German citizenship. Unfortunately his living 30 km away from us was not far enough to prevent his perpetual scrounging, for a new car, back payments on his rent, electric bill, and countless other ends he couldn't meet and that aside the thousands he owed the bank. Yet despite the tremendous drain on every financial security we tried to maintain for serious emergencies, he still persisted. It was always all about him and nobody else, the old pity party come-on only to stab us in the backs once he had the goods.

Then my time with Zehnacker ended in 2001 when they lost the contract in Emmendingen. It was hard enough trying to find a job without running up against all the enemies my father made and all those drunken phone calls by Susan to every firm I tried to apply to. My father formed a new legion and of course stuck me with running it under the threat of kicking me out on the street if I didn't comply. "Don't you miss the Canadians?" No I don't, not this lot of cling-ons and their damaged families trying to drag down everyone with them for a few euros more to relive the stigma. The relentless phone calls of "where's your father?" like I should be privy to anything he was up to. That much my brother and his father had in common, always secretly dumping their personal baggage on you only to do a runner to avoid accountability. The job market was steadily drying up leaving only the worst possible employers. I tried my luck at a couple of local inns to no avail. It landed me with lower back problems that affected my leg coordination, and the next thing I knew I lost my footing on some cobble and shattered my ankle. Three months I was stuck on crutches with no one to help me, so I had to crawl around on my knees to get my shit done. My father was always away on legion business while my mother was always on the rampage leaving me to answer to the police whenever shit happened. As for my brother, he only drove me insofar as have me pay for his tank of gas, and that despite all the money "borrowed" that he never paid back. As fate would have it, I was scarcely off those crutches a week when my father had a stroke while opening a new legion in Holland. Do these people take him to a hospital or call his ADAC for an emergency airlift? No, they take him to me and tell me to deal with it. Like WTF?!

Well I called our family doctor to get the Red Cross and notify the stroke unit, and his friend Reg and I followed the ambulance there. He was still speakable at the time but the specialist told me it could worsen in the next 48 hours...and that it did. When I got back to him, they had moved him to neurology. Nobody notified me and I found him vegetating, unable to speak, half of his brain gone in a subsequent aneurysm. Again they didn't notify me of his transfer to the clinic in Elzach way up in the Black Forest behind Freiburg. They expected me to come every day, and seeing the state my mother was in, insisted I was legal tender by state law, despite having no car. Fortunately my BF stepped in, told them off and agreed to drive me there once a week. He knew the problem well, being himself stuck with caring for his mother and her sister because of his nursing profession, while employment was trying to saddle him with 1 euro jobs.

With all our hopes of an independent future dashed, The BF and I soon learned that we were not alone, but others of our generation are stuck in the same futile dilemma, while the gov't introducing the euro without consensus, swallowed what was left of our nest eggs. As my brother so irreverently calls, "living off the state" is actually the opposite, namely running us into poverty so the nanny state can dictate what we get or don't. It would never occur to him what it would cost to stick his mother in a nursing home, until he gets the bill, insolvency or not. There's just no way around it. When my father died, the woman at the family court implied it should be my brother's responsibility to care for my mother. I only shook my head as she had no idea that it would be like expecting a wolf to look after sheep. It was bad enough when I got back from the hospital after a heart attack/anaphylactic seizure last summer to find the place in a horrible mess, and my mother's bed sores in such a state, only now they are finally beginning to heal. And this is aside my own lack of clothes or amenities when I got out of intensive care. Funny though he wasn't too busy to spout his BS on my computer to his two-faced FB friends about such unforeseen burdens in his life, day in and day out. I warned him about his bogus "poor me" episodes on FB, and as I might expect he couldn't resist the urge to do it again instead of dealing with the real problems in his own life, responsibly. This time he made that fatal move of blocking me on FB to persist in this stupid sham, assuming there's nothing I can do about it. Well, think again you self-righteous asshole, you have taken a course of action that makes my decisions at this point only too easy, and believe me, they don't include you, no matter what your excuse. You need money? Go ask your wonderful FB friends. Don't even dream of dumping your wife on me without the police being up your ass. I am so done with you.